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30 July 2009 @ 06:30 pm
Vid commentary  
No vid recs this week because my vidding geerkery has been taken up with completing my submission to vid_commentary: a commentary on bradcpu's Tear You Apart. My commentary is here and I'm trying not to feel nervous about it (hint: you can scroll really fast through it and make reassuring noises at me if you're super nice!)

Back next week!
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Current Mood: nervousnervous
 
 
 
chasa: bondartifactschasarumba on July 30th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
Don't be nervous! I did just scroll through this morning -- no time to read before work (though I plan to later as I love Tear You Apart), but I thought what you did with the comic screenshot grouping was really cool. And think about it from the flip side -- for your own vid, weren't you completely thrilled to read someone else's detailed, thoughtful commentary on your work? How could that ever be bad, you know? It's a joy.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Audrey Tautoubop_radar on July 30th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you! Yeah, it was amazingly thrilling to read chaila's commentary. I guess I just felt a little out of my depth with mine--more so than I'd expected.
bradcpubradcpu on July 30th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
I'm still coming to grips with its overwhelming awesomeness, but you *definitely* have no reason to be nervous. It's got me all thinky and stuff.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: O Sanjaya...bop_radar on July 30th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
Thinky is good! :) I had a hard time translating my thinky to the page--I didn't expect to have a hard time because written words usually come easily to me, but I guess the complexity of the vid made me question my approach a lot. Like, even now, I'm thinking 'oh but I didn't discuss the colour associations', etc.
bradcpubradcpu on July 31st, 2009 03:31 am (UTC)
It's a really cool thing to see the perspective of a viewer in such great detail, as I'm sure you saw when a commentary was done on one of your vids. The creative process is one thing, but seeing it reflected back at you through the audience's eyes adds a totally different layer of self-awareness. It's had me thinking so much about all of this that I've been reluctant to reply right away because I want to sort of roll it around in my head and gather my thoughts.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on July 31st, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
Yeah! It's weird that even though I was elated by the commentary on my vid, I still worried... I mean I know in theory that hearing anything about the viewer's experience is unbelievably cool, but I still self-questioned a LOT while writing it ('is this just me?' 'am I the only one that sees xxx here?' 'am I missing something really obvious?'). That process of self-doubt was one of the most interesting things about doing a commentary on someone else's vid, actually--because it really put the spotlight on the gap between vidder's intentions and viewer's reactions--and the degree to which them matching matters or doesn't matter. And all the anxieties people feel about commenting. I mean... I don't usually get too anxious about sharing my readings of vids with the vidder in comments--usually I just blast through the anxiety--but this longer, more involved process brought them up. (And I see below that chaila found the same thing.)

No rush to reply! I'll be really interested to hear about things in due course because I feel 'blind' to how you yourself view the vid and its construction.
bradcpubradcpu on July 31st, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC)
'is this just me?' 'am I the only one that sees xxx here?'
The thing is, even if it's something that *you* see specifically, that's still valid and still just as helpful for me as a vidder. In fact, I think that's pretty much the concept of the community. :)

I'll probably wait until after the first vidder profile is posted this weekend before replying. I want to have my full attention on what you wrote and what it means to me.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: DW Madame Pompadourbop_radar on August 1st, 2009 07:25 am (UTC)
I just today realised something really fundamental about your vid that I totally failed to articulate successfully in the commentary. I was describing my commentary over coffee to supacat and I found it so much easier to convey in speech what I was grasping at--now that I've articulated it I'll be able to write it down. I might have to make an addendum to the commentary post.
bradcpubradcpu on August 1st, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I'm intrigued!

It's certainly much easier for me to talk about vidding in ways other than text. But other people have always been much better at that than me. I try to describe vid concepts to people and they just stare blankly at me, and then I do the vid and show them and they go "OH!" The lesson I've learned is that I shouldn't use words. I'll leave that to you.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: DW Sally Sparrowbop_radar on August 2nd, 2009 09:57 am (UTC)
I've just 'ETA'd the post with my added thoughts. No wonder I felt like I hadn't got to the end of my journey of realisation about your vid when I first posted! (hence the anxiety)

I find it hard to express some of my ideas about vidding but I have a very forgiving audience in my best friend. I have total trust in her and we share so much mutual imagination that she can often coax the words out of me by finding the right thing to say. I am lucky. But I'm finding that I do need to talk my way towards some ideas about vidding and especially about complex vids, not just write. I can get there in writing on my own, but it's slower.

In general I think one of the reasons I find it harder to articulate some of my ideas about vids and vidding is that the ones I most delight in resonate on a subconscious level--that's definitely true of yours--so part of the hesitation is that I am trying to catch those funny little humming flickers I feel inside myself--almost-thoughts, almost-feelings--and pull them up into my conscious to examine more closely.

Honestly I think one of the reasons many people love your vids but are not all so 'verbal' about it as me is that they feel the same subconscious connection and express appreciation but don't drag the reasons why it works for them up from the subconscious into the light.
bradcpubradcpu on August 2nd, 2009 12:55 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I am *seriously* digging on your added thoughts. It cuts to the heart of the ideas that spawned the vid in the first place. And you know? I don't think I fully understood them in a conscious way until I saw them written down (by you). I knew that I wanted to express that primal a flow of feelings and that fractured perspective, but never really questioned why the journey went from A to B. Now I understand why A connected to B in my head.

the ones I most delight in resonate on a subconscious level
That's definitely true with me as well. I guess that's part of why we have such a connection in that way. I think the difference is that I have trouble capturing those almost-feelings and examining them the way you can.

I'm glad you see that as an asset and not a handicap. :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: The Fallbop_radar on August 2nd, 2009 11:58 pm (UTC)
It was such an 'aha!' moment for me when I found myself describing that shift in the vid. It had the feeling of 'oh, that was obvious!' but until I put it into words it wasn't--that to me definitely tells me it's working on a subconscious level. It 'feels' right, it has an emotional logic I can connect to.

It's hard work dragging up the almost-feelings sometimes, but I'm enough of an obsessive to want to--after all, I do already about the shows and books I love. What doing this commentary has taught me is that I should spend more time with other vids I love, because the process of exploring why they work for me is very rewarding. It's not exactly that I love the vid any more than I did before but now I know why I do and how it works on me.

I know the part of me that enjoys the intersection between subconscious and conscious understanding and appreciation of a text has been influenced by my experience in several things: by studying lit at uni (however flawed the teaching was) and by Utena (an anime which relies on visual metaphors to understand what's going on). Through those I learnt how to track texts that work on that level, as well as ones with sophisticated use of visual metaphor. I tend to forget these days that that is a learnt skill I have, not something innate in me.

Honestly, your ability to intuitively map where your vids should go is the most amazing asset. My first reaction is 'how could it not be?' But actually I understand how you might feel uncomfortable about it at times. A lot of vids are built out of an intellect-based idea. Those make audiences feel comfortable because even people that don't watch vids regularly can see what the vidder is doing. Vids that work on a subconscious level can be more uncomfortable for some people, I suspect, because it 'works on them' in a way that they don't really understand. And the fact there aren't as many vidders doing it could also mean that you feel you 'should' be conforming more to the mould where you can say in words clearly why you place each shot where you do. And then the intuitive creative process you go through must make your own natural artist's self-doubt so much more amplified! I know mine is at my worst when I am chasing something fluttering on the edge of my consciousness that I haven't nailed down yet (I have this image of trying to net butterflies!) and half of me is thinking 'why am I even doing this? I could be so wrong!'. Your intuition is rare, your courage in following it is probably even rarer. They make you unique--they are assets.
bradcpubradcpu on August 3rd, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
I think I'll move this conversation to the vid commentary itself so that everyone can see. :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Aishwarya lanternbop_radar on August 3rd, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC)
That seems like a good idea! Should I repost my comment there, maybe?
bradcpubradcpu on August 4th, 2009 04:11 am (UTC)
That would be cool!

I've been wanting to talk more about the commentary for several days but have just been *buried* in pre-VVC prep work. :P
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on August 4th, 2009 04:20 am (UTC)
I'm sure I could talk at you for a good few more (long) comments. ;) Let me go post...
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on August 4th, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
Done! For whenever you get through VVC prep. ;) (I can't imagine how busy you must!)
(Deleted comment)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Nodame rockbop_radar on July 31st, 2009 06:25 am (UTC)
OMG YES! I was startled how hard it was. I mean, I'm usually very comfortable with finding words to describe viewing experiences--I meta for TV and movies all the time! But this was tough--and trust me to pick a really intuitive associative vid! Fun but HARD is definitely what I take away from it. Rewarding though! I really thought so much about the viewing experience, vid construction, possible interpretations, etc... and like you I found myself questioning my reading. Constantly so! And that's despite being confident with it going in, and knowing that to a vidder hearing ANYTHING about how others see the vid is fascinating, even if it's not the same way they view it--I totally know that and I still worried!!

But don't worry at all about yours! I thought it was a really thorough look at the vid--and I knew you'd 'get' it from your very first comment on the vid! Some viewers just 'click' with it--and it's telling that counteragent, who it also really clicked for, thought your commentary was awesome!