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12 December 2010 @ 12:40 am
Fanvid: Some Time Around Midnight  
Song: Some Time Around Midnight
Artist: The Airborne Toxic Event
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Summary: Lee knows that Kara will break him in two.
Thanks: To [profile] m_a_r_i_k_s for betaing and for sharing the difficult emotional journey with this vid and engaging with it more than I could ever hope anyone would, to [personal profile] supacat for not getting it at first... but then getting goosebumps, and to [personal profile] kuwdora for enthusiastic support and keeping me sane when I drifted from reality on occasion.

This one broke ME in two.

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This entry was originally posted at http://bop-radar.dreamwidth.org/230458.html. comment count unavailable comments Comment here or there, as you will.
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Current Location: sofa of comfiness
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
 
Call Me OneTrack: K/L: Epiccallmeonetrack on December 11th, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC)
So..is this the therapy vid or is this the one you did for therapy AFTER the therapy vid? Hee.

Either way it's lovely. Love the colorization you did and all the flashbacks that have echoes in the "present".

Of course, being a Kara girl, my first reaction is just, "But wasn't it all worth it, Lee?" I think he thinks it was. :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee owns Karabop_radar on December 11th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
This is the one that I've been struggling with for the last couple of months, the one that had me on a crying/nausea/nightmares jag a couple of weeks ago. The therapy vid from it is infinitely more emo. ;)

Kara fans' reactions are fascinating to me! Thanks for watching!
amnisiasamnisias on December 11th, 2010 04:28 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad that you're still vidding BSG. This was both beautiful and heartbreaking. They can't be together and they can't be apart... *sniffle*

Great editing and clip choices, I've seen loads of BSG vids and this is quite a long one, but it held my attention throughout and felt very fresh & new.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee plottingbop_radar on December 12th, 2010 08:01 am (UTC)
Thank you. Yes, I'm tragically drawn to long tracks. I seem to think my viewers should commit to some kind of endurance-sport experience. LOL! Must be my inner sadist coming out ... or something. :p

But I'm glad you didn't find it too cliched. It's very daunting vidding such heavily-vidded material.
Blue: BSG :: Kara :: Kara Thraceblue_meridian on December 11th, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC)
*squeaks with joy* I'm typically so inarticulate when it comes to vids but I loved it. It feels like a lifetime since I've visited with these two. ♥ ♥
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee boxing hugbop_radar on December 12th, 2010 08:04 am (UTC)
Hee! Your squeaks are very much appreciated. :)
jarrow: bsg-starbuck_bwjarrow on December 11th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
This is a really beautiful look at their whole arc, and I like the way you sequenced it chronologically when it made sense to, giving us that build from start to finish. (Also, wow, perfect song for them, eh?) I can totally see how vidding this broke you in two. *hugs* Reminds me of SfaG in that way. I feel you. *more hugs*
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Leebop_radar on December 12th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm thrilled you watched.

wow, perfect song for them, eh?
Oh yeah! That was a huge part of my compulsion to make the vid despite feeling really tangled and conflicted about the idea of revisiting BSG. I wasn't sure anyone else but me would make this and the song was too perfect to pass up.

Reminds me of SfaG in that way. I feel you. *more hugs*
Oh, thank you! *hugs back* I can see that SfaG would also have been one of those vids that takes you deep into emotional territory, that you live with night and day while you make it, haunting you, because vids like that (these) require so much intimate engagement with the characters' emotions and both ships have such sadness and tragedy, as well as the more uplifting moments. In the end though, it's these vids that are the ones most worth making, I think, though they can take a temporary toll. Thank you for reminding me of that! &hearts
(no subject) - jarrow on December 12th, 2010 04:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on December 12th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
thrace_adama: mini flirting pilotsthrace_adama on December 11th, 2010 08:12 pm (UTC)
I think this vid just tore my heart out, but I do not regret it. In fact, I want to watch it about a million more times to catch all the little moments I know I missed the first time around. What a stunning, heartbreaking, honest portrait of Kara/Lee's journey through Lee's eyes. The way he loves Kara is just...there are no words to explain how I feel about it, which is why I'm beyond thrilled you've vidded them once more. It may tear Lee apart, but I don't doubt for an instant that he wouldn't do it all over again for Kara Thrace.

THANK YOU for sharing this. It means so much.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee/Kara boundbop_radar on December 12th, 2010 09:39 pm (UTC)
Thank YOU for your amazing feedback! I am slow to respond because I guess i'm still a bit emotional about this vid and hearing everyone's responses is amazing. I'm so glad you felt this to be an honest portrait. I too feel that I can't describe Lee's feelings for Kara in words--I can only attempt to capture it in images and through association. And yes, he would do it all over again.
m_a_r_i_k_s: Lee_miniseriesm_a_r_i_k_s on December 11th, 2010 08:39 pm (UTC)
Oh dear! You posted!!! *wipes away tears*

I'm downloading it and I will leave feedback tomorrow.

K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee solacebop_radar on December 11th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
No 'oh dears!' I got your email!! I had fixed most things to a place I was happy with (or at least could live with) and then I got your email and was able to check through the things you raised and stay up and just finish it off. Thank you!! It feels such a relief to put this to rest.
Silvia Kundera: lead me not intosilviakundera on December 11th, 2010 11:33 pm (UTC)
This was beautiful. I saw this rec'd on delicious and I'm so glad I checked it out. Though maybe not a hardcore shipper, I've always found the Lee/Kara storyline compelling on the show and I though you captured Lee's POV on it wonderfully. I loooooved some of the parallels you set up here.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee smilebop_radar on December 13th, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! It's lovely to hear it was bearable to non-hardcore shippers! Thank you for leaving such lovely feedback. :)
scifishipperscifishipper on December 11th, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
Just fantastic. Your Summary really sets up the vid to accentuate the pain of their journey. And for every second of anguish, I know he'd do it all over again if he could. Gah. It's just so good. I can see why it would feel like an emotional journey with all of the painful moments. I love the chronological build and the acceptance and love at the end. It has everything. Bravo.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee dreamybop_radar on December 13th, 2010 03:31 am (UTC)
Thank you so very much! I'm so glad you saw the struggle towards acceptance. It was a very tough emotional journey but pilots are worth it and it's lovely to share that with others. :)
(Deleted comment)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee solacebop_radar on December 13th, 2010 03:47 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I know they're not your thing so it means a lot that you watched. I am so glad you liked that sequence--it was one of the earliest ideas I had for the vid, as I think these two 'speak' to each other through their flying and actions... they're a lot more functional there than when their emotions flail at each other! :p

Yay you liked the colouring! It took me eons to learn all that and it's probably still clunk-a-rama but it was a big step for me. :)
cupidsbowcupidsbow on December 12th, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
You just reminded me why I love Starbuck so much!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara glowybop_radar on December 13th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC)
Ha! Well she is awesome.
allowed to randomly offer accidental insight.: stop - hey - what's that soundsweetestdrain on December 12th, 2010 06:56 am (UTC)
I downloaded this vid this morning and I've already had to come back to it and rewatch it several times throughout the day. I was never a big Kara/Lee shipper, especially from season three on, when a lot of their big significant moments seemed to only serve to remind me how fucked-up they were. But I wasn't ever NOT a Kara/Lee shipper, either. And I think what makes me love this vid so much is how you both acknowledge that fucked-up-edness that bothered me on the show and yet still make me ship them anyway, because -- oh man, Lee. How could he not?

Perfect song choice, great editing, totally epic. Love it.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee dreamybop_radar on December 12th, 2010 07:55 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you SO MUCH. I really love that you can see the acknowledgment of the fucked-up-ness, because I really wasn't comfortable not acknowledging that. For me, this is in part an exploration of the fact that the ship had/has so much power (for Lee, and for some viewers) despite that.

because -- oh man, Lee. How could he not?
Exactly! :)

I'm thrilled you liked it so much, especially as someone with conflicted feelings about the ship. Lee was always my point-of-view character, through which I saw the show, so I'm down with conflicted feelings. :)
imelda72: starbuck blue dress hotimelda72 on December 12th, 2010 10:42 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD! *is drooling*

That was amazing. You isolated Lee's POV really well. Great song choice. My favorite bit was 1:28-1:58; especially, "she's laughing, she's turning, she's holding her tonic like a cross" or whatever.

*off to watch again* ♥ ♥ ♥
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Karabop_radar on December 13th, 2010 04:55 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for such enthusiastic feedback! :) I am really happy you liked the 'she's laughing' sequence as it was the cause of some angst in beta/production, but I am happy with this final version--glad it popped for you! :)
Becka: lee!beccatoria on December 12th, 2010 02:29 pm (UTC)
Lovely. The song manages to really ground the vid in Lee's POV while letting the footage linger on Kara without muddying that clarity of POV. You make really good use of expressions throughout their conversations; it really makes the vid feel emotive, and brings out the emotional narrative - especially Lee's view on it, since he was a very reserved character, in ways the show itself did not always manage to do.

Plus lovely colours in it - understated, but gorgeous. I never have the patience to colour correct on such a wide scale.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee smilebop_radar on December 13th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
*clings to this feedback* Clear POV! Understated colours! OMG YAY!! The weeks of angst pay off over those things pay off!! \o/

I'm all about emotional narrative. :)
Cosette: [bsg] hot kiss EoJcosetteferaud on December 12th, 2010 02:54 pm (UTC)
Wow, I don't have any coherent thoughts left. Just wanted to say that I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, it tore me apart in the best possible way. The way you captured Lee's love/obsession for Kara is just stunning and heartbreaking, it made my heart ache for him... The song is so fitting for their story arc, and I love the pace and build of this, you manage to convey Lee's pain, anger and need beautifully. No wonder why the making of this became an emotional toll for you, but thanks so much for the effort: this was simply perfect and epic. I want to watch it over and over and savor every little detail you've included.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee boxing hugbop_radar on December 13th, 2010 06:15 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! Naturally you were someone I hoped would enjoy this vid. There was a point in making it where I nearly gave up, I was so ill with worry over it, but getting your feedback makes it all worthwhile. *hugs*
Diar: wormholediarmi on December 12th, 2010 07:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love this vid! I don't have words to say how much but this is absolutely awesome job! It's a long time since I enjoyed A Kara/Lee storyline, thank you for this!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee boxing hugbop_radar on December 13th, 2010 06:42 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm thrilled you watched and enjoyed! (And have I told I've started watching Farscape at long, long last and am loving it! Up to 2.10 or thereabouts! Looking forward to watching your vids with fresh eyes.)
(no subject) - diarmi on December 14th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on December 14th, 2010 10:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Semi-Obsessive Me: nikita - face against blacksol_se on December 12th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
Oh wow...that gave me goosebumps too! I love the way it builds until Lee is just completely wrecked. Just wow, so emotional. Definitely saving this for many more viewings.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee dreamybop_radar on December 13th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so, so much! I'm thrilled you liked it so much and thank you, also, for the rec!
the plucky young girl who helps the Doctor: k/l pyramid ballalissabobissa on December 12th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
This is fantastic! I can see why it broke you though. You managed to pack into this vid everything that makes them them. I laughed, I cried, and somehow came out smiling and remembering them at their best. I like to think Lee did the same. Thanks for this. :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee boxing hugbop_radar on December 13th, 2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
I'm delighted it was such a rollercoaster (in a good way!) for you! Thank you so much!
(no subject) - bloodygoodgirl on December 13th, 2010 05:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Kara/Lee dreamybop_radar on December 13th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
yeah the song is so haunting. It just stayed in my brain demanding to be vidded.

I'm really pleased you saw some nuances in Kara's face here too. It was at times hard to balance keeping people in Lee's POV and showing the complexity of Kara that Lee responds to.
(no subject) - callmeonetrack on December 15th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
fabellawistful_fever on December 13th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC)
Boppy, I don't have words for this, I really don't. The scope of emotions you covered with this, that you brought me across with this, is just amazing. This is EPIC. The definition right there. I'm still digesting. I'm still shaking. I'll be back.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Leebop_radar on December 13th, 2010 09:57 am (UTC)
*hugs* &hearts &hearts &hearts
giandujakissgiandujakiss on December 13th, 2010 11:42 am (UTC)
This was so gorgeous and epic. Really great tribute to both of them.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Leebop_radar on December 13th, 2010 09:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
x5valex5vale on December 14th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
Awesome vid. SEriously.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee Apollobop_radar on December 14th, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :)
Nicole Anell: pilotsnicole_anell on December 14th, 2010 05:23 pm (UTC)
Wow, this is gorgeously edited and one that I'll be watching again. Love the increasing desperate-ness and emotion of it. Utterly heartbreaking, and this is not a character or ship that broke my heart very often on the show.

The repetition of "you just have to see her" was especially amazing and affected me. And the editing of the various hands/kissing/hugging/etc. scenes toward the end is so fluid and seamless. And the last shot with him kissing her face to the time of the song is just... wow, guh, brilliant. *gestures*

Edited at 2010-12-14 05:25 pm (UTC)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee smilebop_radar on December 14th, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I know that Lee and Lee/Kara do not always work for you (and fair enough!), so it really means a lot to me that this vid spoke to you. I'm thrilled you liked the 'you just have to see her' sequence as it was the heart of the vid for me, and equally the face-kissing and Lee burying himself in Kara's shadow at the end. I feel so lucky that people have responded to this vid so generously.
ncismelanie: housescully1121 on December 14th, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
This was so fucking brilliant ! i let you a comment on youtube but wow again ;)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Leebop_radar on December 15th, 2010 12:23 am (UTC)
Thank you so, so much. I'm blown away by people's reactions to this vid. It means a lot!
m_a_r_i_k_s: #2m_a_r_i_k_s on December 14th, 2010 09:07 pm (UTC)
I found it so gratifying to be able to watch the vid as a viewer; not knowing about some choices you made, having time to absorb and *feel* even more.

Your premise is brief but spot-on… Midnight will break anyone who watches close enough, let alone the person who’s kinda behind the camera.

I loved your decision with “she’s laughing, she’s turning” – it nails his infatuation; that inexplicable magic vibrating around, that Lee experiences every time she gets a little bit closer. Being in love doesn’t begin to grasp it… This sequence feels organic now. A token of happiness, Lee’s drunkenness and unison with his higher self Kara is able to connect him with without even suspecting what she does.

One of the first things I find fascinating in the way you let the viewer see Lee’s POV better is how you highlight his body language. I know I already mentioned it, but the opening slays me with his jaw tensions kaleidoscope. It’s striking how much pain (and by pain I mean all kinds of worries, fears and heavy unresolved emotions) his body can accumulate! It’s also terrifying to realize that Kara’s simplest look can heal him like nothing else. And of course it’s a double edged sword; she can destroy him too, when she lets her inner demons take over.

Another image you bring out that I like is from the first time they met when Lee gets mesmerized with the way she speaks and laughs. You’ve picked a moment when the camera lingers on her hand holding the glass and then shifts back to Lee, and to me it conveys the level of the magnitude he experiences: he’s as transfixed as a painter who just happened to witness the most beautiful mystery of the world unraveling before him, one he can’t help reacting to, needing to last in his presence more than consciously wanting to capture it one way or the other (granted, physical drive is instantly there, and his desire to get playful, creative and fearless, but his thrill at Being around her and the moment of infinity when time ceases to exist ‘because his thoughts stop and his whole being embraces this new sensation, wants it to last – it is much greater). Lee’s hand nearly jerks at the sight of her fingers on red.

The reason it’s cosmic to be able to see is because for Lee it’s a reflex he never had time to acquire; the first time he watches her he knows he belongs… and his gesture reflects everything: his eagerness to absorb Kara’s cat-like movements, his mind bringing him back to the reality of Zak’s presence and his disbelief at being with two people of his Family, one of whom became criminally close to him in less than a day.

3:14 I see these two clips creating an ensemble of rare moments when he literally opens a valve under high pressure and lets a blinding light burst free from his chest and his arms: passion and mindblowing fondness.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee in darknessbop_radar on December 15th, 2010 12:29 am (UTC)
Oh, Maria, thank you! Your comments are almost so overwhelming I can barely take them all in. I get teary.

You know originally when I thought about posting this vid I imagined apologising for the overblown violins-of-emo and so on. I forgot to do that!

I'm so glad you feel the 'she's laughing' sequence works right now. Obviously that was one part where I was hoping it would work for you, but reading your last email I felt sure it would. I had originally been soooo stumped, as you know, but then one evening it came in a flash and I laid it down and then sat on it for a few days and came back to review and it still worked for me. A good lesson in patience and trusting my instincts to know when I've found the 'right' thing!

how much pain (and by pain I mean all kinds of worries, fears and heavy unresolved emotions) his body can accumulate
That's so true. He carries it in every muscle. I know that feeling... I used to say I felt anxiety and unresolved longing in my arms. You know the type of feeling where your arms actually ache to hug something or someone? That's what I think of when I think of Lee, of him walking around feeling that unresolved bodily tension about Kara. And it will never be healed now. ::tears up::

he’s as transfixed as a painter who just happened to witness the most beautiful mystery of the world unraveling before him
Thank you--it's a magical moment. I know it comes amidst all that vile, vile stuff they flung at us in the finale but I wanted to rescue it from that context.

God, I thought I'd cried myself out over this but clearly not... I'll take a break and be back.
m_a_r_i_k_s: scar_kissm_a_r_i_k_s on December 14th, 2010 09:09 pm (UTC)
The ending sequence made me come back to the beginning and again think there is a supernatural power in the fact that she can break him and help him become complete. Basically there are four of them, the real Lee giving shelter to a demonic Lee… and same with Kara. And I think there’s a part of Lee that had to get broken multiple times. As a matter of fact, Kara is the only one (plus his father maybe) who could inflict him so much pain and inadvertently (because her demonic side could never act consciously, it wasn’t acting – it was rather *reacting* like a wild animal) give him a chance to see WHY they were hitting walls, what he did wrong.

Lee had to learn to trust himself, trust his feelings no matter what and to fight for his heart and ideas. It amazes me how Kara’s death liberated him to the point of being able to go against the world to fight for what he thought was right to do. He always had the tendency, but by the end of S3 there were practically no doubts left. Which is why Crossroads feels fascinating to watch; he seems so connected with himself, rooted and magnificent in action… One day I’d like to be able to make a video touching upon that and also speaking of what made it possible for pilots to get past being destructive towards each other, become truly caring and treasuring each other (which we saw glimpses of in the early S4).

I found myself getting excited and deeply touched at seeing how people respond to Midnight emotionally. I had an itch to start answering some of the comments myself like if I had any kind of ownership over this vid, which I don’t, but I do feel like it’s a part of me. I keep reading ‘epic’… and I’m having trouble remembering the last time people would so unanimously agree in their impressions of a video.

I don’t know how to thank you, K. For letting me lose the boundaries of myself in this experience; for sharing your heart space and inviting me in, for being brave enough to start and finish it despite many issues, for being honest! I really believe that this is what makes room for a new level of creative vidding and just interacting with people you care about in general.

The ending freeze-frame made me realize what exactly triggered the dream of Lee fixating on Kara’s smell. That’s another thing I want to thank you for: for making me dream from Lee’s POV *like that* again.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee owns Karabop_radar on December 15th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC)
there’s a part of Lee that had to get broken multiple times
There are days when I think that and days when I wish he could have had it easier. :) But I know what you are saying.

It amazes me how Kara’s death liberated him to the point of being able to go against the world to fight for what he thought was right to do.
I would love to see that explored in a vid. :) I look forward to that and have to believe one day it will be, by someone (not putting pressure on you!). It was something I didn't quite get into here as I could barely focus on her death, it was too devastating. Still is too devastating. In many ways I feel like I got frozen that night watching Maelstrom and I still feel sick with grief.

like if I had any kind of ownership over this vid, which I don’t, but I do feel like it’s a part of me
I totally understand that feeling! I've twitched around your comments sections more than once, and I'm not even your beta, just proud to be your friend! :) Also, you ARE part of this vid, it would never have been made without you and you know it intimately the way no one else does. I don't think I could ever have done this alone because knowing someone else out there felt as deeply and in as complicated a way made the journey less lonely and therefore bearable if still very very hard. Really, I don't know how you manage to vid alone! It astounds me but it doesn't surprise me that you describe it taking such a toll on you.

a new level of creative vidding
Well, it's funny... you know I'd hoped for more development within this vid and it didn't quite get there, but I do feel shifts in me since the vid. I'll be interested in what you think of my next vid when I post it because it's really different I think but in many ways builds directly out of this and I doubt I'd ever have made it without this vid. So I am content now because I feel like this vid did play a role in moving me forward, for all I felt like it was dragging me down at times!

triggered the dream of Lee fixating on Kara’s smell
Oh, god, OF COURSE! I hadn't even thought. That makes total sense. But ohhh, dreaming in Lee-POV is always so bittersweet, isn't it? I mean I wouldn't be without it but it usually shakes me up terribly.
(no subject) - indigo419 on December 15th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on December 15th, 2010 03:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on December 15th, 2010 03:50 am (UTC) (Expand)