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13 November 2006 @ 01:15 pm
SV Lexana thoughts  
I can't stop thinking about the Lexana pregnancy. I mean, I know that y'all have known about it for ... how long? months? I know you probably all know how it ends as well. I don't want to know--I love being spoiler free. But I can't stop speculating in my own mind. Only I seem incapable of coming up with actually plausible explanations of how she fell pregnant. So far I've got:

(In order of preference)
1. Somehow Zod impregnated her really REALLY quickly. He did have superspeed after all, right? (I like this one!)
2. Lex has secretly still got a bit of Zod in him and since Zod really was all about the breeding, Lex has been poking holes in condoms with needles prior to sex. *nods*
3. For nefarious reasons that I cannot yet fathom, Lex himself wants Lana to be pregnant and therefore tricked her (either with pinpricked condoms or placebo pills). The question, though, is why?! I haven't worked that out yet.
4. Lionel is secretly pricking holes in Lex's condoms. I'm rather fond of this one too. :-) Alternatively, he's bribing Lana's doctor to give her placebo pills. In this possibly universe, I fully expect that Lionel will sweep in and 'protect' Lana by delivering her child in private and 'taking care of it', thereby acquiring another Luthor labrat for Lionel to mindfuck. Nice!
5. Accident. And hey, those DO happen. Not often, but they do.
It's got to be one of these because I just don't buy that Lex is not all about safe sex. And while I can just about imagine Lana caught up in a romantic moment, and while that toga really didn't have any pockets, I just cannot imagine that Lex doesn't have stashes of condoms all over that mansion for precisely this purpose. *stabs*

Does Lex know she's pregnant? Yes. Surely, he must!? He has surveillance all over the place. I'm now fanwanking the problematic table as his secret sign to her that he knows and is not happy that she hasn't fessed up yet.

Now can they PLEASE start throwing things at each other (and then falling into bed with one another to have make-up sex) or something because the ice is killing me.
 
 
 
Veral_vera01 on November 13th, 2006 02:57 am (UTC)
I think No 5 is your best bet because it's the easiest way to cast Lana as the victim. She hasn't given Lex any reason to want to poke holes in condoms in order to get her pregnant to keep her around and well, Lionel is busy with other things right now to worry about Lex's sex life and future heirs. Unless he finds out by the logic of SV writing it really is Zod's lovechild. The thing about that is I don't quite get is if it is Zod's kid, why the show would make such a big deal of their Sexana scene then? Or maybe it's just me *shrugs* Whatever option will cast Lana as the victim in the best way and make everything Lex's fault without warping logic (like that's stopped them) that will be the one.

Really. Lana was coerced/lied to blah, blah...even after the big fuss they made of the Sexana where it was completely consensual? It'll still somehow end up being Lex's fault. Lana will forever be the victim. Don't need holes in condoms, bop. It's Lana. Of course, she's the martyr to Lex's evil plans. The worst thing is, if this pairing was given half a chance, it would have been exciting to watch again.

I don't think Lex knows yet, I think they're saving that for a very special moment in a future episode (spoilery so that's all I'm saying). The surveillance? Seems to work only when the writers need it to.

I will forever maintain that Lex's balls are stuffed in Lana's bottom drawer of prizes that she likes knowing she has even if she doesn't have to look at them all the time. I imagine she's getting ready to dust Clark's balls off in preparation for the whole pregnancy storyline. *sigh* Here endth the rant. And any kid with her for a mother should run in the direction of all things Luthor.

I'm going to go watch Studio 60 now and laugh a wholleee lot. Or find kinky Clex porn. Where Lana has to watch. Or something. (eg)
Veral_vera01 on November 13th, 2006 03:39 am (UTC)
Now can they PLEASE start throwing things at each other (and then falling into bed with one another to have make-up sex) or something because the ice is killing me.

That would mean the PTBs would have to make Lana get down and dirty right when they have cast her as 'mother' and 'mothers' don't do that, especially if they're Lana Lang.
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - l_vera01 on November 13th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - l_vera01 on November 13th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 05:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - frelling_tralk on November 13th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
Naomi: Ollie/Lex by Chaotic4lifefrelling_tralk on November 13th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC)
Now can they PLEASE start throwing things at each other (and then falling into bed with one another to have make-up sex) or something because the ice is killing me.

Yes please! It's not like I was expecting a sappy Lexmas version of Lexana. But I thought there would at least be a bit of passion to show why they want to be together. There's not really been anything in season 6, other than Wither. They could at least make it fun to watch *sighs*

And I didn't even mind the table scene that much (putting aside my doubts over characterisation, it was an emotionally effective scene to watch still). But I am getting sick of there first scenes with them now seeming to often consist of them stood halfway across the room arguing with one another, and how flat Michael seems to play it. Sure there will be complications, I expected that, but are they actually attracted to one another or not?

I've got the same complaint with how indifferent Clex has become. Whatever happend to intensity and good old-fashioned hatred?
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lex mehbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 03:43 am (UTC)
But I thought there would at least be a bit of passion to show why they want to be together. There's not really been anything in season 6, other than Wither. They could at least make it fun to watch *sighs*
Have you seen norwich36's 'the only sin love can commit is to be passionless' icon? That sums it up perfectly.

Sure there will be complications, I expected that, but are they actually attracted to one another or not? I've got the same complaint with how indifferent Clex has become. Whatever happend to intensity and good old-fashioned hatred?
True. Intensity is one thing that SV (and MR in particular) used to bring with abundance. And I'm missing that--as you say, a lot of the Lexana shot set ups and staging is very distanced, and that's not fun to watch--at least not when it's not balanced with moments of passion.
(no subject) - frelling_tralk on November 13th, 2006 03:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
Vicki: MR as jackmyownghost on November 13th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
how do the headaches factor in? it really did look like they were leading up to a brain tumor for part of the ep. (i didn't know about the pregnancy until spoilers appeared in LJ posts last week, myself.) i wonder if they're hinting at a baby that's somehow not quite normall human. hmmm.
Vicki: adina coiffedmyownghost on November 13th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
uh, i left a Y off 'normally.' please to excuse me. it's bedtime. :)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - myownghost on November 13th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 02:36 am (UTC) (Expand)
Nora Norwich: Lexana joylessnorwich36 on November 13th, 2006 04:43 am (UTC)
I doubt any of the future spoilers talk about the outcome of the pregnancy, but that hardly matters. I'd wager about half a year's salary on miscarriage--the only question in my mind is it going to be caused by Lex (thus alienating Lana from him and cementing his EVILNESS) or caused by Clark (thus causing Lex to go after Clark directly, and possibly keeping Lana in Lex's camp a little longer). If the writers are clever, they'll manage to have it both ways: some setup with villains where Lana knows Lex was the cause but Lex thinks Clark was the cause, since he was unconscious at some pivotal moment.

I'm also pretty sure that the pregnancy was accidental, because we haven't seen any reason for Lex to want to tie Lana to him at this point. If he was depicted as really obsessed with her, I could buy it, but given how cold he's been lately I have a hard time believing he'd be sabotaging her birth control. The theory that *Lionel* might have done that is an interesting one, but a little hard to fathom that he's been raiding Lex's condom stashes and poking holes in them.

If I am wrong and the baby makes it long enough to be born, who do you think is going to be committing infanticide: Lana, Lex, or Lionel? Because there is no *way* that kid is growing up, I think that's a sure bet.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Clark/Lois/Oliverbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
Well, now here you come all calm and rational and taking my cracktastic speculation seriously! Heavens! Don't do THAT!

But if we're going to be serious for a moment, then yes, I think it was accidental and yes I think if the child is born it will die. And I vote for Lana killing it to 'protect' it, a la Lillian. But I don't actually think it will be born. I think another accident is most likely, and you're spot on here: they'll manage to have it both ways: some setup with villains where Lana knows Lex was the cause but Lex thinks Clark was the cause, since he was unconscious at some pivotal moment.
That sounds most Smallville-like, yes! And then there will be a fandom war about it and it'll all be status = normal in SV land. :-)

Meanwhile, I'll take refuge in my other OT3...
(no subject) - norwich36 on November 13th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 04:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
Nora Norwichnorwich36 on November 13th, 2006 04:54 am (UTC)
oh p.s.
I actually love the Zod did it theory, though I think if they really wanted to telegraph that they would have had the seduction scene go a bit longer so it was less clear that they hadn't consummated.

You forgot one theory that some folks were talking about in the comments on my review: it's Clark's baby! (Maybe Kryptonian sperm can just stay alive for a really, really long time?) Or else it's Lex and Clark's baby (since maybe Kryptonian gametes can swing either way, just like Kryptonians, and have a really, really long life).
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Clex lovebop_radar on November 13th, 2006 05:01 am (UTC)
Re: oh p.s.
Yeah, I agree re. the Zod theory. I loooove it but I think they would have had a longer seduction scene. I don't think it's very likely AT ALL.

And I kinda like the Clark's baby idea--supacat is voting for that one since she's fanwanks (as a joke) that Kryptonians mature veeeery slowly and this accounts for Clark's slow emotional maturity.

Clark AND Lex's baby--well I'd love that to be true, but it seems to cracktastic to be true. Alas. *sob* Though it works so perfectly with Lana being just a conduit through which they connect...
Re: oh p.s. - norwich36 on November 13th, 2006 05:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 05:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - norwich36 on November 13th, 2006 05:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 05:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - norwich36 on November 13th, 2006 05:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - beck_liz on November 13th, 2006 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: oh p.s. - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Fleegull: Foesfleegull on November 13th, 2006 05:47 am (UTC)
Considering only 65% of pregnancies are planned, I'd easily that it was an accident.

I'm not seeing this pregnancy going all the way but instead of Lex inadverdently causing a miscarriage, it would be far more interesting if Clark did. *That* would be a rift worthy of legend.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lois backbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
it would be far more interesting if Clark did. *That* would be a rift worthy of legend.
Mmm... that could be interesting. There'd be a lot of conflicted feelings over that--from both Clark and Lana and maybe Lex too.
Kate: Bad Lex Fanmskatej on November 13th, 2006 08:02 am (UTC)
I am also thinking obsessively about it. I plan to do a poll about it today in fact!

I'll say this for SV. Even when it's bad it makes me want to talk about it ALL THE TIME.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lois Chloe comfort foodbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC)
I know, CURSE IT! I was all distracted all day at work. So much remains undecided about the baby plot... I'm not coping well with the suspense. And the show better damn well not go on hiatus any time soon, because it might kill me to have a baby cliffhanger. *vomits*
Clare: lex - save meblisstasteful on November 13th, 2006 09:01 am (UTC)
My first instinct is to rail against the thought that Lex may be knowingly responsible for the pregnancy, as I don't see what possible motivation he would have to do that. It could possibly be a ploy to keep Lana around, but as deeply as she's involved in all things Luthor at the moment, I can't see that it's necessary.

The problem with that is that I just don't understand Lex's motivations at all this season. So far all we're getting is 'Lex has some sort of nefarious plot underway' and 'Lex is dumb enough to get his ass well and truly kicked by Ollie and shortly thereafter get shot and killed by a freaking arrow'.
Aside from that and rather bitty snapshots of his relationship with Lana, we have nothing to go on.

Throw pregnancy into the mix and well.... things are sketchy at best. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO THINK HERE!!!!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lollie in costumebop_radar on November 13th, 2006 09:10 am (UTC)
It could possibly be a ploy to keep Lana around, but as deeply as she's involved in all things Luthor at the moment, I can't see that it's necessary.
Nah, I was thinking more along the lines of 'Lex hates babies and thinks inflicting one on Lana would be the funniest shit ever' but I guess I'm alone in this... ;-)

The problem with that is that I just don't understand Lex's motivations at all this season.
Agreed. I too am baffled as to what we are supposed to think is going on with Lex this season.

So far all we're getting is 'Lex has some sort of nefarious plot underway' and 'Lex is dumb enough to get his ass well and truly kicked by Ollie and shortly thereafter get shot and killed by a freaking arrow'.
Hee. Well, I agree on the nebulousness of the nefarious plot, but actually I think Lex is about on par for the season with getting his ass kicked. He's always had shockingly poor security, shockingly incompetent lackies and a statistically improbable number of near-death experiences... that bit doesn't worry me. It's the I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING that kills me!
(no subject) - blisstasteful on November 13th, 2006 09:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 09:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
sail_sail_ on November 13th, 2006 10:12 am (UTC)
Crackified theory #6.
Lionel has somehow implanted his own evol seed in Lana through insemination while she was unconscious (she's been knocked out and hospitalised at least once after Zod, right?). What? No, it's not too far fetched.
Lionel has been known to mess with Lex's dates before (Victoria), but he is a smart man and clearly can't stand Lana; thus insemiantion and no physical interaction.
Of course Lex knows about the pregancy, what with all the surveilance picking up her fainting and headaches, and Lana's freudian slip in Fallout with "late night craving for ice cream". Lex isn't stupid. And that's why Lex is so worried about her working in a dangerous environment. Sure, he doesn't want her to know about his petty revenge scheem against Oliver, but mainly it's concern.
But after Lana's doctor's appointment (which Lex naturally knew about and got a report on before Lana left the hospital), he did the math and it didn't quite add up. The first time they had sex was in Wither (if they'd done it before, what was all that stop being room mates about?), and Lana is more than a month pregnant.
Plus, he's probably been taught about safe sex way before puberty to prevent golddiggers looking for rich-boy child support, or worse, forcing him into marriage. Leaving birth control up to his partner isn't something I imagine Lex to do, no matter how wonderful and pretty and squirrel-like she may be. Ergo: the child isn't Lex's. It can't be.
Therefore Lex is pissed, partly because she won't tell him she's knocked up, but also because her silence is a sign of guilt. His trust in her broke a little in Falllout when he noticed how little his honesty meant to her, and how much she valued being honest back.
Hm. This plot could work with super fast impregnation á-la Zod, too.
lastscorpion on November 13th, 2006 08:17 pm (UTC)
That theory is a thing of beauty. I really hope you're right. Either Zod or Lionel would be fine, especially compared to the alternative. (Although the idea that Kryptonian sperm has a delayed implantation thing like pandas is also very funny and cool.)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:25 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
shadowplays are figments of their own imaginations: notice when you begin to disappearciaan on November 13th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
I vote #4, because Lionel experimenting on children is always awesome. And by awesome I mean awful. But Lionelicious!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Luthor babiesbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC)
It is! It is! And we know that Lionel is really evil but we don't YET know what his current agenda is this season. So I'm voting for experimentation on children!
lastscorpion on November 13th, 2006 08:19 pm (UTC)
I love your theory #4!

I almost used that in a Buffy/Lex story once!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Luthor babiesbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:36 pm (UTC)
I am increasingly fond of it too. I'm actually backing Lionel over Zod now I think. Because Lionel's still around... we can hear him chuckle evilly about it while Lex throws thing at him. :-)
slinkling: lexanaslinkling on November 13th, 2006 09:28 pm (UTC)
Heh, I just responded to mskatej's post about this same thing. To repeat much of what I said there: I don't think it was accidental. Lex is too much of a manwhore and has too much money to be that careless -- however much he spends on diamond earrings, paternity suits would cost a lot more. So I'm guessing it was either Zod's doing, somehow, or else Lex did it deliberately by sabotaging whatever they're using for birth control.

I can see 3 reasons why he might: 1) it would bind Lana to him, which is a plausible motivation for a guy who's been betrayed or abandoned by everyone he's cared about. 2) It would kick Clark's ass, since not only has Lana chosen to be with Lex, but now she's going to have his baby and thus be his FOREVER. 3) He's still reacting to his Lexmas dream, in which he was blissfully happy with Lana and kids but lost her due to lack of money/power. So this way, he's trying to lock down the whole package: Lana, baby, AND money/power. (Never mind that he's totally missing the point of that dream.)

I like the idea that a few people have suggested here, that Lana's headaches suggest something weird and mutanty about this baby. Whether that's due to Zod, or due to Lex's meteor mutation, I like it either way. (I've also seen a theory that I love, which is that Lana is also a meteor mutant from that necklace she used to wear -- that the necklace, combined with her early heartbreak, has made her unnaturally lovable, such that people literally can't help falling in love with her. So I love the notion that she and Lex are both meteor freaks and that's why their baby would be so problematic. But I doubt the show's going to go there.)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Luthor babiesbop_radar on November 13th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Lex is too much of a manwhore and has too much money to be that careless Agreed. And a 'freak accident' is too boring. So I like your idea a lot.

So this way, he's trying to lock down the whole package: Lana, baby, AND money/power. (Never mind that he's totally missing the point of that dream.)
Moving right away from all my crazy speculation and amusement, I really really like this analysis--and I think it's highly plausible. I'd also love for there to be something scary wrong with the baby. I could watch that! I could enjoy that!

I've also seen a theory that I love, which is that Lana is also a meteor mutant from that necklace she used to wear -- that the necklace, combined with her early heartbreak, has made her unnaturally lovable, such that people literally can't help falling in love with her.
*nods* I've seen that theory and I like it too. Though I also like the one that thinks the Kents are meteor freaks too--they were desperately wanting to be parents as the meteor storm hit and so that's why they're so hyper-parental--especially Martha with all that baking. I'd love to read a fic that explored that concept--or one that explored Lana as meteor freak. (Though have I read one of those? I think I have...)
(no subject) - huzzlewhat on November 15th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jenny: ideasladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Since I know someone who recently got pregnant using the combo of condoms and birth control, I'd say accident is possible.

I like #4, though. Lionel's a nutball. I want Lex to have a good reason to eat his face (although everything else he's done warrants it already).
Jenny: ideasladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
WTF the point of me posting was to agree with you that I think Lex is probably fanatical about safe sex. *slaps self*
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 16th, 2006 03:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 03:28 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 16th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladydreamer on November 16th, 2006 04:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on November 16th, 2006 03:02 am (UTC) (Expand)