Sorry guys - I got nothing. This episode left we with practically nothing to articulate about. This is all I got:
1. Smallville writers: I don't often bitch about you but if you're going to do a Buffy shoutout episode, make sure at least one of you knows the show well and can pull it off. Please. (Else reconsider the idea entirely or you'll piss off old Buffy fans like me.)
2. James and Michael: Keep doing what you're doing. Good work!
3. Tom: get thyself to a gym. Oh but excellent work on swooning like a girl when Lana kissed your neck - the way you closed your eyes was HOT.
So instead of an ep-based essay, I'm going to put my energies this week into a Lex-focussed essay I've had on the backburner and ... um ... my fic.
It is of course possible that I am doing SV an injustice and if any of my f'list found something interesting in this week's ep, please hop on and comment here! Over to you guys...
I did have a real downer of a week. Maybe that's why I just couldn't get into this ep.
So yesterday I was sitting in my living room with the back door open for the cat to wander in and out. And this distraut girl came running in. She must have come from the back alleyway and pushed open our gate. Before I knew it she was staggering into my kitchen calling for help saying someone was chasing her. She had cuts and bruises on her arms and knees.
Once I was closer, I could see that she was heavily drugged. She was hysterical, talking incessantly, shaking and generally displaying extremely distressed behaviour. I locked the door so she felt safer. I got her to sit down and gave her a glass of water. I offered to call the police.
Once she was calmer she was able to tell me that she was a paranoid schizophrenic and also diagnosed with ADD. She said her mental illnesses were drug-induced and that she'd been using since she was eight. She had four kids - three different fathers - none of the kids lived with her. She told me about childbirth and being beaten up by her ex-partner. She told me about trying to quit the drugs and the alcohol. She told me about her current partner.
It became clear that she had been having a panic attack and she admitted that there was no real threat, that she was scared and confused and lonely. She told me she had no female friends and no friends who weren't users. She asked if I did drugs. I said no. She said 'oh that's good!' with a look of longing on her face. She told me she wanted her kids to have a better life than she'd had. I said 'your life's not over yet' but my heart wasn't in it. She replied 'you're right' and talked about believing in the good deep inside people and not what you see on the surface, and about living life for now, not the past.
She was so desperate to talk I wasn't sure we'd ever get her to leave. I tricked her. I said my boyfriend and I had to go out. She tried to leave the way she'd come in but couldn't find the gate in the dark. She tried to climb the fence and my boyfriend had to run out and guide her to the gate. I felt awful letting her leave like that but she insisted that she didn't want to call anyone and I got the sense that she was embarrassed at the fuss she had caused.
Earlier she'd shown me the track marks on her arms and the cut marks. She said the voices in her head made her cut herself. She said that it was ok if we watched her to make sure she didn't steal stuff. When my bf left the room for a moment she called out 'yes, it's ok, lock your stuff up away from me, I'm a junkie' and then launched into a long speech about the fact that she never stole from friends, not even when she was using heavily. I wanted to believe her. But part of me didn't and I locked the doors and windows after she left and turned the outdoor lights out, hoping that if she did have any intentions of returning, she wouldn't be able to find us again. Seriously - she was that disoriented - I don't think she could have.
This experience was difficult for me. Before she left I hugged her because she asked me too and it was all I could think to do for her. I was deeply moved by her story, but also unsettled and a little afraid because my own private space had been violated.
The world is a horrible place. Some people don't ever get a break. I hope she gets hers. Please, if you've read this, send good thoughts to her.