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17 December 2009 @ 11:25 am
Excuses, excuses, excuses...  
Wah! I'm not exactly on top of things at the moment. So profuse apologies for kind of sucking at fandom life right now. I had all these grand intentions... but I'm rapidly running out of 2009 time to do them in. ;) So I'm thinking a clean slate in 2010 is going to be a great relief.

Apart from completing my festivid and doing Ledger duties, I've been totally out of things fandom-related, including vid chats, but I hope to get them up again in 2010. Sigh. I have various other vidding-related organisational duties to perform as well, none of which have been forgotten about but again, they're looking like jobs for 2010. :( Where did the year go?

Freelancing is fabulous except that it's apparently compounded my uncanny ability to let everything else in my life slide into chaos while working. So the work side of things? Going swimmingly! But I think I'm in danger of being a workaholic. When I'm not working, I feel really jittery and anxious, and I can't really relax... which means very little in the way of cleaning, cooking, exercise, socialising, relaxing or personal projects (inc. vidding) gets done. :( I'm trying to turn that around.

I've also got a new hobby eating up my time and energy, in the form of Bollywood and Indian Fusion dance. Somehow a couple of months after taking it up, I'm facing a dance performance on Sunday night! This seemed like a BRILLIANT idea about a month ago but now seems terrifying, especially as my costume does not fit, I haven't the faintest idea how to put on make-up having not done so for several years, and I've never really performed *anything* before. Except an extremely traumatising karaoke experience once. I am sure the ensuing mess will make a hilarious story, but why I thought I needed MORE anxiety before Christmas, I have no idea! On the upside, I get to fulfil my dream of wearing a sari (some girls dream of wedding dresses, I dream of saris...).

The dance is helping with the health side of things though, which had slumped rather badly in the first months of freelancing. Now I'm losing weight and getting onto a healthy eating program and hope to continue to improve in this in 2010. 2010 is going to be my year of concentrating on the Things That Really Matter. I need to learn that work can take care of itself, and that it is not just permissible but preferable to spend time on the other things that make life worth living... like friends, health, fun, creativity...

Part of that is going to be accepting when I'm just totally overwhelmed and getting help with it or taking steps to manage it.

In fandom, that is sadly going to mean cutting my friendslist down substantially. I have this rosy idea that I'll one day have time to read it in full and get to know everyone but you know what? That's never going to happen--its too damn large. And probably more than two thirds of my friendslist barely ever interact with me. So what the hell is the point? Trust me, if we actually converse, you won't get cut, and if we don't but you want me to keep you friended, feel free to pipe up. I'll still be surfing around LJ and nearly all my posts are public, so it's not like anyone will really be losing out. I just hope that cutting my friendslist will mean I can really focus on the people that actually give a damn about me. Quality over quantity, yes? :D Of course anyone is still welcome to friend me and comment in any of my posts, especially the very obviously public 'chat' ones like vid chats.

Christmas time is hard for me. My family is tiny and stressful. I generally have a lot of spare time around Christmas, my birthday and New Year. I didn't put up a wishlist this year because I was feeling too guilty about not doing enough in fandom this year to warrant it, and about the fact that I have zero time leading up to Christmas to fulfil anyone elses's wishes (festivid is my one contributing act), but if there was one thing I would love it is company at Christmas time. I know absolutely no one is online, but if you find yourself with a few dead hours to kill (perhaps while the relatives are sleeping?!), wave hello to me! I'll probably be here, vidding, catching up on shows or vids, commenting on posts you've long forgotten or generally lurking around aimlessly. It always seems like the one time I *have* time is the one time of the year in fandom that no one else does. So forgive if you receive random comments from me during the holiday season, and please don't think badly of me. Not everyone has family.

As I say, I kind of can't wait to start 2010 in a new frame of mind (even if I'm beginning some of those changes now). I hope to be a better Bop then (and not crash out of so many fandoms!).

If anyone still wants a card, you can pipe up here. If not, have a safe and restful holiday season! xx Bop

PS. Oh! Oh! I do want something else! BADLY! Recs. Vid recs by preference (assume I've missed everything because I've been so fail this year). Fic recs if its really exceptional and will not set me off into rages. :D Then I shall have holidays filled with joy. Self-pimping totally advocated!
Current Mood: stressedstressed
legendsinlove: pandoralegendsinlove on December 17th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC)
Somehow I forgot that you freelance. Which I have to say I admire greatly as it's an idea I've toyed with. That's great that you have lots of work! :) It sounds like you find it fulfilling!

Finding a balance between work and the rest of your life can be hard but I know you can do it. I think it's something everyone has trouble with. And good luck on your upcoming performance! Sounds exciting. I've seen some Indian dancing before but this sounds different.

Can't wait for more vid chats! I don't participate since I haven't actually vidded anything but I like reading them in the hopes that someday I will. lol

*hugs* I'm sorry the holidays are stressful. Knowing me and my tendency to be a loner during family events, I'll probably be on the computer Christmas day. So hopefully we can chat! If not,
it goes without saying that I hope we can stay friends! I've enjoyed getting to know you!

Let me see what I can dig up in the way of recs. I haven't watched a lot of vids lately.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 17th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
I do honestly recommend freelancing if you are a disciplined worker, it's fabulous. It's always been the other aspects of life that I've struggled with and it turns out that my starry eyed idea that I'd be more relaxed and have more time for them when freelance was a bit of a myth. ;)

good luck on your upcoming performance! Sounds exciting. I've seen some Indian dancing before but this sounds different.
Thanks! There are many styles. One of my dances (the Bollywood) is very lively--lots of jumping around--to a very modern song. The other (classical fusion) is slower and more rythmic, we wear bells on our ankles and there are lots of complicated hand positions. ;)

I'll keep an eye out for you! :) I should have put my chat details in my post too--bopradar on gmail chat or kirstieaiw on Yahoo.

If you find anything to rec, that would be fab!
(no subject) - legendsinlove on December 26th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
Nora Norwichnorwich36 on December 17th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)
Good to hear from you. The Indian/Bollywood dance thing sounds fabulous--any chance you can film it? I'd love to see it. (And I too dream of saris).

I too am crazy busy--a good friend of mine's house burned down at the beginning of the week, and I offered to let her family stay at my house the two weeks I am away for Christmas, but of course my house is a disaster area, and between trying to get it liveable and finish up several big work projects that must be completed before the holidays, I'm kind of frantic. (And the prioritizing is kind of hilarious: like, do I spend more time scrubbing floors or hiding the porn so her kids don't actually stumble on it? Hee!)

Anyway, I was taking a housecleaning break and saw your post and just wanted to say hi. So HI!!!

K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 17th, 2009 02:23 am (UTC)

Housecleaning SIGH! Wow, I'm so sorry about your friend. And of course that must be chaos... I know we both have the cleaning WOE. I just hate it! And wow, with work projects on to... yuck! I had a big work deadline and dance rehearsals last weekend and it was just manic. I was going out of my mind!

I hear that, *ahem this is going to sound so dodgy*, some dude films the concerts every year... for free. (I actually think it sounds like he wants the filming/editing experience), so I should be able to get something... or at least some photos. Hopefully before my costume falls off or my jewellery impails some audience member as it flies off me! *paranoid*
eriatarkayamakasi on December 17th, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
freelancing sounds great, but i can see how it would push the rest of your life (like relaxing!) to the wayside. :P i'm glad you're getting a lot of business, though. at least that's something.

indian fusion dancing! how exciting. :D i hope you post more about this. maybe even include pictures~~ :3

i am looking forward to 2010, too.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Bellydancebop_radar on December 17th, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
Yes! It is very gratifying to be able to make a living on one's own, but I just need to relax a bit and keep things in perspective now. :)

I do love my dancing, I've been hesitant to post about it in case people think I'm nutty, so you really shouldn't encourage me... ;)
(no subject) - yamakasi on December 21st, 2009 01:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The First Evil: Lee/Laura - By Your Sideasta77 on December 17th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
I, too, had plans for the holidays that didn't come to fruition. Maybe I'll get to them in the new year. Everyone is in a rush to get things accomplished before Christmas so maybe it will be refreshing if we do stuff at the beginning of the new year? People need good tidings in January, right? :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 17th, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
Yes! Surely! *clings* While everyone else is lazily slumping into the new year I will be all fired up. That's the plan! ;)
Talithatalitha78 on December 17th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC)
You don't suck, Boppy. In fact, you are mighty awesome, and no one can convince me otherwise, especially not you. :P

I'll be around all Christmas long, vidding like a crazy woman. I just changed songs and directions on my Festivid, and I'm not panicking. Not panicking at all...
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Aishwarya Raibop_radar on December 17th, 2009 02:32 am (UTC)
LOL!hippo! :D Oh! I got your adorable card! Thank you! *hugs*

Your questions are like TOP of my 'to do's. *facepalm* So dreadful! But I am having a very productive work day so maybe I can kick work over and get on to other things soon...

And man, my festivid has been giving me much angst! It's a little... out there... for me. But I'm determined not to be downcast about it. It will get FINISHED and that is the main thing, right??!!
(no subject) - talitha78 on December 17th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Call Me OneTrack: Christmas Lightscallmeonetrack on December 17th, 2009 02:47 am (UTC)
Aw girl. I've missed you but I hope you can find some time for yourself to relax and enjoy things with your upcoming free time. I'll be online over the holidays week. I am out of work (woo hoo!).

Also, I don't think it'll incite your rage, so you should go check out queenofthorns' Cyllon High BSG/FNL crack crossover series. (The Tighs are Boosters at Dillon, Six is their daughter that gets involved with Landry, and oh everyone shows up and it's so much fun!) She's written Part One and Part Two so far.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 17th, 2009 11:25 pm (UTC)
Holidays--woo hoo! *rubs hands gleefully*

Yay, ok, that sounds MAD but wonderful! I shall check it out. :)
daybreak777: yuletidedaybreak777 on December 17th, 2009 03:47 am (UTC)
Time is going way too fast! I feel like the white rabbit! I'm late! I'm late!

You finished your Festivid? What? I haven't even started. Oh, goodness. I do have a handle on Yuletide, though. That's it!

I still have Christmas shopping to do, goodness. :-/

I hope you have a lot of fun at the performance! It sounds like a lot of fun. :-)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Aishwarya Raibop_radar on December 17th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC)
You are very good at reading things I haven't actually said into what I said! I am working on my festivid, I certainly haven't finished it. ;) And I have tons of shopping to do too... I went out yesterday but the shops did not cooperate. *kicks them*
(no subject) - daybreak777 on December 18th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
Feliz: Perfect blue buildingsfeliz581 on December 17th, 2009 05:16 am (UTC)
I too got caught up in work and CPA exam and practically disappeared from fandom for upwards of two years. I'm just now getting back into it (literally like a week ago!) so I don't have any recs unfortunately. But I do have good wishes to send your way for your performance on Sunday! I'm glad you have that outlet for stress, which is necessary for workaholics!

I'm sure you will be amazing!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 22nd, 2009 07:26 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! Is it weird getting back into fandom after all this time? (And congrats on having your exam out of the way!)
brokenmnemonic: CdL - Onion Girlbrokenmnemonic on December 17th, 2009 05:49 am (UTC)
There is no sucktitude, ok? All of this freelancing is still relatively new, and it takes a while for things to reach a state of equilibrium even without things like crazy families. You've had lots of change this year, and it's often natural to put work first - that's one reason for you having such a good reputation as an editor to begin with.

Don't stress about keeping up with everything, because that's impossible - you'll just drive yourself into fits of anxiety that you really don't need. When things have levelled off, you'll be in a better position to decide how and what you want to do :)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 12:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, I really need some 'me' time these holidays (which aren't totally holidays for me... *eyes the work that just arrived*).
hoolia goolia: Misc - christmas Han Soloboom_queen on December 17th, 2009 06:25 am (UTC)
I am totally with you on the 2010 being the year of things that Really Matter, particularly the quality of life--both in fandom and otherwise--rather than the business/running around like a headless chicken that I am seem to be prone to.

Vid recs? talitha78's recent ones are the JOY of my life right now. And I really enjoyed both of sabaceanbabe's recent-ish True Blood vids. A couple of good BSG ones too, but I'm thinking they are not emotionally advisable.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: True Blood Ericbop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)
Yeah, I'm still headless-chicken-ing over here, but I am really determined that that has to STOP in 2010!

Awesome, I don't believe I've caught sabaceanbabe's TB vids yet and I'm definitely there for more True Blood vids... THANK YOU!
Fleegull: Bling Bling by LaTfleegull on December 17th, 2009 08:11 am (UTC)
Way to go with the dancing! If you get a chance, get someone to help you with the make up, often department stores with make up counters offer free make up lessons or they will give you instructions on how to achieve a certain look. Youtube also has lots of make up tips all demonstrated by folks who know what they are doing.
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Bellydancebop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
Thank you for the smart suggestion! I did check out some tutorials on eyes in particular (which I am not good at) and actually all the other girls backstage were really great at helping each other. That was one really lovely thing I found about the experience. It was no problem to say 'I'm bad at eyeliner, can you fix me?' :)
(Deleted comment)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Nodame rockbop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for the tool!! That is brilliant. :) I certainly won't be defriending you but I really appreciate your honesty about the process. Life too short, life too short!!

I have many 'one day' vid recs myself!! I used to be so good at getting them up. It is time-consuming though, definitely!
diarmi on December 17th, 2009 11:37 am (UTC)
Sari!!! Yeah, you have to post some photos if you happen to have one!
Good luck with your performance! (What music will you dance to? Some original or from any movies maybe?)

Vid rec! I watched one vid that recently is for me the perfect example of vidding joy and is sooo mind blowing with tempo, quick cuts and general editing. It's an action video for X-Men Trilogy Explosive (It won some awards at recent CJA round).
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Bellydancebop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 10:18 pm (UTC)
Yes, sari was very exciting!! :D Unfortunately they switched my dances back to back with each other so I had 3 minutes to change out of my sari again and so got no real photos (though I'm hoping some will show from other people in my group in the new year--and there was someone filming the whole show).

Ohh, that vid sounds great! I will totally check it out now i am on holiday. :D :D thank you!
Cosettecosetteferaud on December 17th, 2009 12:02 pm (UTC)
Oh dude… freelancing! I know a great deal about that (it’s not that I am a freelance myself, but my hub was some years ago). From my experience, it is something greatly rewarding and fulfilling, but it’s important to drawn some boundaries between work and personal life too. It takes a while to find an equilibrium, so just take it easy –and try to relax a little bit! But I am glad to hear this new professional path you’ve chosen is going so incredibly well! :) Oh, and don’t stress out with fandom and your flist –I know the feeling! :) My conclusion after a year in LJ is that it’s just impossible to keep up with everything/everyone –especially if your RL is busy.

And OMG, this dancing project of yours sounds so much fun! I wish I had more time to do things like that… Lately I feel my life has been reduced to work, work and more work, and I feel like I missing something. Sigh. I guess I should adopt your “Things That Really Matter” motto for this New Year :).

Take care!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Bellydancebop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 10:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your words about freelancing... it's true, it seems to be taking a while to find the equilibrium. I think overall I've done alright with it in the first year in that I am definitely less stressed than when I worked in an office, and the work keeps on flowing. Now I just need to relax a bit more and put some other good life practices--like regular exercise routine, cleaning, etc. in place.

I love my dancing!! It's been a real bright spot in my life at the end of this year. It's great to have something that genuinely takes my mind right off work. (There's no space for anything but concentrating on the steps!) I hope you find something like that in the new year! :)
kassrachel on December 17th, 2009 03:39 pm (UTC)
All I have to offer is a virtual hug, and hopes that Christmas doesn't suck too badly -- or, if it does, that reading Yuletide fics proves to be a useful counter. :-)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 23rd, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That is very welcome! I hope you have happy holidays too!