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24 December 2011 @ 09:05 pm
Bad friend  
I have been a very bad LJ/DW friend this year, thanks to a bad case of workaholicism, especially these last few months. While initially motivated by legitimate financial issues, I kind of have a problem: a tragic inability to turn down work even when I've got more than enough. It's led to me not having a day off in months, and being completely exhausted... working 40 hours weeks even when I'm really sick and so on. It doesn't help that the one question nearly everyone asks you when you're freelance is 'do you get enough work?'/'are you still getting work?' That hits my anxiety buttons STRAIGHT away--it's always easy to believe the next job will be your last, and too often I let anxiety and not my instincts decide whether I take a job or not. That's got to change. Even if it means taking longer to get out of debt or having to cut back on some things.

Anyway, today being my first day off, I logged into my fannish email inbox for the first time in a couple of months today... I haven't checked my friendslist in... god I don't even know... but it doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about any of you. I hope my friends here are well and that if you're celebrating a holiday, it is a restful and relaxing time for you and your family!!

While I can't ever hope to 'catch up' exactly, I do hope to have a little more time to myself, to watch some vids or maybe even do a little vidding myself, and to reconnect with people, over the next few months. Life's too short to keep torturing myself like this.

So anyway, sorry for sucking, hopefully I'll suck less in 2012, and best wishes to all!

This entry was originally posted at http://bop-radar.dreamwidth.org/240019.html. comment count unavailable comments Comment here or there, as you will.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
tyffityffi on December 24th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC)
*high five* Join the club: I've been a horrible LJ-friend myself this year… but it's always nice to see a post of yours popping up on my flist.

Happy Holidays! *hugs*
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 26th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
Thank you! :) I'm glad I'm not the only one ... life gets crazy sometimes! :) Here's hoping yours is good to you in 2012!
(no subject) - amnisias on December 25th, 2011 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 26th, 2011 09:45 am (UTC)
Waves... yeah... that makes the next wave a relaxing one, I hope! :) It's been a hard few months (of my own making). Thank you for your kind message! It seems a bit surreal that I haven't posted in so long...

Happy holidays to you too!
Ferd: Brois- Christmas snowingferdalump on December 25th, 2011 02:49 pm (UTC)
I hope you have a happy holiday and that 2012 brings you happy times (fannish and otherwise) and some time to do all the things you enjoy!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 26th, 2011 10:37 am (UTC)
Thank you! I hope yours is good too! :D
Cris: Clois - kiss - engagedduskwillow on December 25th, 2011 09:42 pm (UTC)
K! *hugs*
Good to see you! It's great to hear work is going so well and keeping you busy.
LJ has been down a lot this year, with bunch od DoS attacks, so even if you had time to post you'd end up frustrated.
But I hope we'll see more of you in the new year. :D
Have a happy and relaxing holidays! ♥
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Clois catchbop_radar on December 26th, 2011 10:42 am (UTC)
Hi Cris! I hope you've been well! :) Yeah, I heard LJ's had a swathe of problems... sorry to hear it!
I do hope to be around more ... I certainly need a little more 'life' in my work/life balance! :)
danegendanegen on December 26th, 2011 12:32 am (UTC)
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on December 26th, 2011 10:42 am (UTC)
Thank you!! Hope you're well!
m_a_r_i_k_s: Redm_a_r_i_k_s on December 27th, 2011 11:34 am (UTC)
Bad bad bad friend :P No forgiveness!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!: Lee!facebop_radar on December 29th, 2011 04:49 am (UTC)
:p Yeah...
Enderenderwiggin24 on January 1st, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
happy new year Boppy!
and I hear you on the above stuff.....2011 was in terms of fannish activity my lowest in my entire fannish history.
but alas, I doubt it will be better, at nearly 33 , jobwise, you are not a job beginner anymore.
giving up fandom isnt as painful as I have always imagined, when I way wayyyyyy younger XD
the road to career hell is paved with loads of good intentions (though I am not in a porsche yet like lex, i am working on it.......).
but the funny thing is, while at work nearly every fandom site is blocked, I am talking to you guys more than ever. its just not talking with you, merely to you.
if right now the technology would be available to implant a chip directly to my brain, and hook it up with LJ?
haha, I still would have a million topics to chat with you all about.
sadly, reality is somewhat behind my multi tasking abilities XD

looking at my bank account is awesome, getting indecent proposals at work is hilarious, and still having my mother tagging along to introduce totally unfit men to me, even more hilarious XD
Enderenderwiggin24 on January 1st, 2012 04:10 pm (UTC)
btw, how awesome, you have some weird LJ style?
I can still see you have a subject line!!!
hahah, lj keeps on fucking up, and try to copy facebook and co is hilarious.

and no matter how busy you are, i still expect at least 1 fannish vid from you next year!
I would love best something in my present fandoms XP
I could even pay you know, that I am rolling in money!
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!bop_radar on January 4th, 2012 06:03 am (UTC)
I know... I thought of you when LJ took away subject lines. :))

Ohh what fandoms are you gallivanting around in currently? Sherlock, right? I couldn't quite get into it... (though I frequently enjoy the vids!) I seem to remember you wanting an Eli vid for TGW. ;) I'd be up for that but haven't found the right song yet.

I'm glad you are doing so well. And also seeing the humour in things like your mother's misplaced attempts to procure men for you. :p

I know what you mean about holding conversations in your head these days! Where did all my time go?