K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick! (bop_radar) wrote,
K, Bop or Boppy--take your pick!

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Bad friend

I have been a very bad LJ/DW friend this year, thanks to a bad case of workaholicism, especially these last few months. While initially motivated by legitimate financial issues, I kind of have a problem: a tragic inability to turn down work even when I've got more than enough. It's led to me not having a day off in months, and being completely exhausted... working 40 hours weeks even when I'm really sick and so on. It doesn't help that the one question nearly everyone asks you when you're freelance is 'do you get enough work?'/'are you still getting work?' That hits my anxiety buttons STRAIGHT away--it's always easy to believe the next job will be your last, and too often I let anxiety and not my instincts decide whether I take a job or not. That's got to change. Even if it means taking longer to get out of debt or having to cut back on some things.

Anyway, today being my first day off, I logged into my fannish email inbox for the first time in a couple of months today... I haven't checked my friendslist in... god I don't even know... but it doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about any of you. I hope my friends here are well and that if you're celebrating a holiday, it is a restful and relaxing time for you and your family!!

While I can't ever hope to 'catch up' exactly, I do hope to have a little more time to myself, to watch some vids or maybe even do a little vidding myself, and to reconnect with people, over the next few months. Life's too short to keep torturing myself like this.

So anyway, sorry for sucking, hopefully I'll suck less in 2012, and best wishes to all!

This entry was originally posted at http://bop-radar.dreamwidth.org/240019.html. comment count unavailable comments Comment here or there, as you will.
Tags: personal

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