The things I absolutely did not like:
- the random creepy children
- the stupid lullaby
- the painful glasses flashback (Yuh! We get it, already! Some of us can even pick up such symmetry and symbolism on our own, thank you very much!)
Along the same lines of my complaint about the glasses flashback, I was VERY ambivalent about the literalism in the exploration of Gaius's subconsciousness. It was incredibly unsubtle--and it lacked suspense because as viewers we're already privy to Gaius's internal life. *sigh* However, I can't can it completely, because it produced a few interesting points:
- I liked the idea that Roslin and Adama thought Gaius was holding back, when it fact he was telling them all exactly what he experienced, bar the ridiculous 'Chosen One' delusion
- I like that Gaius broke and said that no, he was not a Cylon--because in the pit of his soul that's what he fears
- I loved Adama saying that they'll never get an acknowledgment of guilt from Gaius because he literally does not see himself that way. (But a WHOLE EPISODE to prove that? Meh. Not sure that was completely necessary...)
Apart from that, Laura and Gaeta and their interactions with Gaius rocked, so I really can't complain that much. And I'm really fascinated by Gaeta now. Is he a Cylon?! I think he might be! I love that his motivations are a bit in shadow--in an episode where everyone else was busy being laid bare or laying themselves bare of their own free wills, it was refreshing that there is mystery surrounding someone still! And Laura is always a pleasure to watch.
Thoughts on near-death experiences
So, I couldn't help comparing Gaius's near-death experience to Lee's. And I decided I really really like the fact that Lee didn't see anything, whereas Gaius had a whole hallucination that was a direct extrapolation from his subconscious. That's so fitting, because Lee's the atheist, whereas Gaius is desperate to believe but incredibly confused about what he's searching for. Their deaths suit them.
State of the OT4
So, I really didn't expect the developments that just took place, but you know what? I think I like 'em. Though I can imagine they've pissed off a great many people. The reason I like them, I think, is because I'm a Lee fan first and foremost and this episode was largely about him--his change, his journey. And Jamie delivered a fantastic performance. It's really hard for me to hate any development on the show that respects his character as much as this episode did. Even if he's frustrating--which yes, I see that he is. But I love him, so there! :-p
Lee's bar-banter with the Chief was very revealing. Their marriages stand in stark contrast to each other. The Chief and Cally may have screaming fights, and they may need their space away from each other, but there is absolutely no doubt about their commitment to one another. Chief's straight 'no's to Lee's questions about Sharon made me laugh. No, honey, other people don't constantly wonder 'what if' in their marriages. That is not normal, sweetheart! And I also loved that the Chief was able to be flippant about marriage, but Lee couldn't do so so easily--because his marriage really is in trouble, despite the surface calm.
I liked the symmetry of having both Dee and Sam lay it on the line to Lee and Kara. Because Lee and Kara were in a stalemate, so clearly the next move was not going to be initiated by either one of them. And it was a huge relief to have them come out and address the matter head-on. It also makes emotional sense following the altercations on the Algae Planet because it's all risen to the surface. The silence around the issue must feel more absurd than ever. I loved Kara's terror when Sam asked her if she loved Lee. (Oh, Sam, I love you for asking it and being so calm about it!) And as far as I'm concerned that waiver and then 'maybe' means YES, YES, YES! *treasures*
As soon as Dee started actually saying Kara's name, I instantly liked her better. I'm so sooo glad she's moved out of frigid pissiness and into honest emotion. And I think Lee is also glad. In fact, her doing so was really significant. I've always maintained that Lee recognises himself in Dee to some extent. And earlier in the ep I'd been giggling to myself about the irony of seeing Lee staggering home drunk to find Dee sitting up working on reports and being bitchy at him--because in a Kara/Lee marriage, it would be Lee sitting at home waiting on Kara and ready with the bitchy lines for when she finally got in! But Dee hasn't allowed Lee access to her emotional side--a side that he relates to very strongly for a long long time. The silence has been very bad for their marriage. And when Lee threw out that bitchy line about Dee's insecurities, I don't think he ever expected her to respond with such honesty. And there was a lot of dignity in her response, which he would also respect. He knows exactly how hard it is to be in love with someone, to feel lucky just to be near them, and to retain your dignity in the face of rejection. So I think there was a lot of self-identification going on in this episode where Lee was concerned.
So, I (*blush*) kind of loved his apology to Dee. I love that he was desperate to win her back. This is what I always needed to see about them! I always suspected that this self-identification was at the heart of Lee's connection to her, but I feel better having had it confirmed in this episode. And I also like that he says he loved her. I believe him. Love takes different forms--and I like that he admitted he may always love Kara as well. The honesty in this episode, from both Kara and Lee, was great.
The other thing I loved about Lee's change of heart, if we can call it that, is that it was driven both by deep emotions and by chance. Because it did feel like it could have gone another way... when Kara came to him and asked if he would leave Dee, Lee was reeling. He needed longer to adjust to this sudden change of heart than she gave him. I understand that Kara needed an instant answer, but that's not Lee. And in that moment, his heart would have skipped a beat thinking 'it could really happen! we could really be together!' and I'm not at all surprised that his first reaction was to attack--because all those emotions he'd put a lid on about being rejected, about how infuriatingly unobtainable Kara has been, were coming bubbling up to the surface. And no, it was not very nice behaviour, but it was very believable. And Kara's 'think about it--that's what you do best' would have only made things worse. Rather than showing him that anything had changed, rather than reassuring him that rejection was not just around the corner again, she responded with her usual dismissiveness of him and his emotional concerns.
And it's easy to forget it in the shippiness of wanting to see Kara and Lee consummate that bubbling desire, but Kara cut Lee really deeply and he's also been through an awful lot on his own since then--which she is not interested in addressing or discussing. Dee is good for Lee. And I do not doubt for a second that he's always wanted to make good on the vow he made on his wedding day, because he thinks that Dee deserves that--his love for her is the love that's more deserving of being nurtured, given that his love for Kara has only brought him torturous pain.
And Lee lost his ring--while it was another instance of clumsy, obvious symbolism in this episode, I kind of thought it worked. And hey I have had that moment where you suddenly realise that something you've taken for granted is ruined and you clutch at it desperately, hoping against hope that you can patch it back together. (You think I'm joking, but I kept a dried bunch of roses in my bedroom for a year and a half--they were given to me by my boyfriend the day I broke up with him--until I won him back again. Yes, people, I AM Lee Adama!) Am I a Lee apologist? Prob'ly! :-)
So, there we go. Who knew I would be so happy about a Lee/Dee reconciliation? And, you know, I'd feel more sorry for Kara, but honestly I think she needs some time to sort some other stuff out--like the whole Leoben/destiny thing. And Sammy's a good
BUT. We still have the emo-couple stare-offs! Waaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! *flails* OMG, the EMO!! I love teary Lee, but oh, man, that was like getting punched in the gut all over again! Has anything changed?! At the end of the day has anything really changed? I DON'T KNOW!!!! *weeps*
Also: Where was Helo?! *frowns*